Ex 20:12
12 "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
The Question: Could the Fifth Commandment to honor parents be a commandment beyond being good children?
The Bad News: We live in a society in which people are objectified, seen as means to our own ends.
The Good News: Each of us is valuable to God
The Celebration: Christ came to create a new family, in which all who do the will of God are guaranteed a family in which they will be loved and respected.
First off, what makes this commandment unique, one of only two special commandments in the ten? It is stated in the positive and not the negative… This command and the Sabbath command are both positive…
Just a bit of trivia to get us started…
The challenge of this commandment is that we think we’ve already got this one down… no problem … right?
According to The National Elder Abuse Incidence Study
"Every year an estimated 2.1 million older Americans are victims of physical, psychological, or other forms of abuse and neglect. For every case of elder abuse and neglect reported to authorities, experts estimate that there may be as many as 5 cases not reported. Research suggests elders who have been abused tend to die earlier than those who are not abused, even in the absence of chronic conditions or life threatening disease."
90% of elder abuse and neglect incidents are by known perpetrators, usually family members, 2/3rds are adult children or spouses
National Center on Elder Abuse, 1994 The National Elder Abuse Incidence Study: Final Report Washington, DC: Administration for Children and Families & Administration on Aging, US Department of Health and Human Services
I don’t know about you, but, It seems like this one should be automatic. Why would you NEED to command children to honor their parents? That just seems basic to me, like common sense. Then again, my mother used to say, ‘Common sense isn’t very common…’ And I guess she had a point. Perhaps you too have had the experience while shopping, or out to eat, out in public anyway, of cringing at the way a child talked to their parent. Have you ever had that experience?
I wanted to reflect on this, because I think we can make two mistakes with this commandment… brush over it too quickly as a given, as ‘the easy one’… when statistics and reflection on our experience shows that it isn’t a given at all. The other mistake we can make is to miss the implications of this simple command.
The command to honor father and mother comes directly after the command to remember and keep holy, a Sabbath…
Lets look back at that one for a minute…
Ex 20:8-11 "Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy. 9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work, 10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates.
Remember your value.
That is the point of Sabbath.
What makes me valuable or honorable? This is the first question for the day. And I suspect that for many the answer of their value would come down to something that they do… whether it is a career that they perform well at, and if not a vocation, an avocation, some hobby that they do particularly well… something they produce…
So some might say, I’m a hard worker, or a loyal worker…
I’m a good listener, I’ll do anything for a friend
I’m generous, or helpful, I take care of the elderly,
You get the picture here right… we value ourselves based on what we do…
On the service we provide… whether we are paid for it or not…
But what the Sabbath command is telling us is…
That ISN’T where our value lies…
We are not honored by God for what we do…
But simply because of who we are…
And who are we… God’s children…
Those created in God’s image…
So, this may seem like a strange point, but, this is at least one of the major points of the command for Sabbath… our value lies not in what we do, what service we provide, our value lies in relation to God our creator…
But it is important, because then the Sabbath command goes on to say that not only should the men and women of Israel keep Sabbath…
But the slaves and the foreigners and the children and the animals…
Why is the Sabbath command extended to all of them?
Why are they valuable?
Because of the service they provide.
The work they do.
Remember the BIG story here…
Israel has just been released from slavery in Egypt…
What was their value? Labor…
The Sabbath command is a warning to Israel NOT to recreate the slavery of Egypt,
Only this time they get to be the one’s in charge, on the receiving end…
What will make Israel a light to the nations? Not the fact that they are free themselves, BUT, how they use that freedom…
A freedom in which they value and honor all people, not just their own
And the command for today… honor father and mother
Brings a specific group of people into sharp relief…
The vulnerable.
This command isn’t simply about obeying our parents
It is about valuing the vulnerable
This command issues its challenge not when
Parents can care for themselves and contribute to the household
But when they cannot care for themselves and must receive, but cannot give
The command to honor father and mother is the command to value and honor
The vulnerable…
Ex 22:21-24
21 "Do not mistreat an alien or oppress him, for you were aliens in Egypt.
22 "Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan . 23 If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry.
Israel will be a light to the nations…
Israel will continue live in the liberation, the freedom that God has given them
By being a nation known for valuing and honoring the vulnerable…
The aging father and mother
The alien or foreign
The widow
The orphan…
Those who stand on the edges of society are to be valued and not despised…
Here is where and why social ministries are so important…
Ministries like the food closet and the clothes closet
The summer meal program and the oil program are vital…
Not only because they meet basic human needs…
But because they communicate value, honor,
They bestow dignity upon the vulnerable in our community…
These are not just social services
Or physical services
But spiritual services…
And as spiritual services,
They must be rooted in our own spiritual practice…
Because the command to extend Sabbath to the alien
To be generous with the widow and the orphan
To extend honor to the aged is rooted in our prayer life
In our own Sabbath time…
In our own Sabbath time in which we remember that we are not valuable for what
We do, but simply because we are…
We offer hospitality to the stranger
Generosity to the widow and orphan
Honor to the aged
Not based on their own merit
But because we have experienced the abundant love of God
Freely given and not earned…
Henri Nouwen writes:
When we cling to the results of our actions as our only way of self-identification, then we become possessive and defensive and tend to look at our fellow human beings more as enemies to be kept at a distance, than as friends with whom we share the gifts of life… we are worth more than the result of our efforts…
Our social ministries, if not rooted in prayer and aimed at communicating God’s love
Just become a way for us to feel better about ourselves
Prove to others… prove to ourselves… our value
They become our idols… making us feel worth something
Because we can say.. look at what I have done…
When we give food to the hungry
Or clothes to the poor
Or feed families in the summer
We are giving them much more than food or clothes
We are giving them dignity and honor
But we are also giving them more than that
We are offering them a sign of God’s own love
That they do not have to earn
Because we did not have to earn it
Ro 5:9
8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us .
We are not just a social service agency,
But agents of God love and grace
While we offer food and clothing and oil
If that is all we offer we have failed
For we have something even more valuable to offer
The love of God
BUT
If we have not experienced this unmerited love ourselves
We can tend to forget, where our value lies..
Thinking that it is because of what we do
Or what others think of us
Or say about us
And this tends to tear at the fabric of the family that God has created
As we not-so-secretly measure our merits against others
Have they worked as hard as I
have they proven themselves as faithful as I
are they as worthy of Gods honor as I
NO
The experience of God amazing and unmerited yet free love
Only comes through prayer
How much time do you spend in prayer not saying anything
Not asking for anything
Just being loved by God?
Isa 43:4
Since you are precious and honored in my sight,
and because I love you,
That is a verse to start you…
Make time this week at the start and the close of your day…
To not only be intellectually reminded of God love
But to experience it in prayer…
Recite this verse to yourself in silence
No distractions
Don’t say anything else
Just repeat it, over and over
And then listen
Listen to God loving you
Not because of the work you do
Or your volunteer hours
Your successes and virtues and hours of labor
And generosity
But just because you are...
We MUST experience that love if we are to share it
If our ministries as a church do not grow from that experience
They are in vain…
Just a way for us to feel better about ourselves
And so more about us seeking our own honor
Than about honoring others…
If our relationships with one another are not based on
This experience of God’s unmerited love vast, unmeasured,
Boundless and free as the hymn-writer says
Than our relationships here will be no different
Than any other social organization
And it will all be in vain
If we are to follow today’s commandment to honor, value and dignify
The vulnerable…
That will only flow from our own experience of being loved
As we are…
Jesus own ministry began not with a call to action, but with an expression of love…
Think about that…
God didn’t call to Christ and say
Today I am calling you Lk 4:18
to preach good news to the poor.
to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
give sight to the blind,
and release the oppressed,
First God said, You are my beloved…
There is still much to do,
Many tasks to be undertaken
Many injustices to meet with energy and passion
But today, we, like Christ,
Are simply, the beloved
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